New Page 0

…and then makes her first leadership decision of the day by choosing whether or not she should have milk with her coffee.

Sagar and Satesh try to offer Paul the picolax-laced coffee during the break. (an old GP practical joke which still catches some speakers out.)

Paul counts out how many times he’s had to use the bathroom since he had that last coffee and asks if there’s a doctor in the house. Bev looks at Jenny. Jenny looks at Bev and Toysosi is thinking ‘too much information Paul.’

Now that the speaker has been stowed away in the sick room HIGP members get to work on Leadership training. But first Baljit decides to stop for an impromptu bit of karaoke. She sings Kylie Minogue’s ‘I just can’t get you out of my head.’

Satesh decides to get back to the business in hand and outlines his plans for world domination. As all good GPs are doing, this plan will go into his appraisal folder and be reviewed periodically.

Now that the talk is over. The members gather for the Go Kart pre race briefing. Paul the speaker has now returned from the sick room but is still wondering why his stomach is so unsettled…

Some of the group pose for a pre-race podium shot. (note. Wishful thinking on the part of sashi and sagar!)

as the race gets ready to start some track-side betting takes place. Sashi bets on himself to come in last…(surely this can’t be allowed)

Paul gets his sweet revenge on the GPs as his Coventry killers team comes in first.

. …although we’re not sure who really is having the last laugh as he’s still having a little gas trouble…

I have not gone karting before and when I heard that it has been organised I was all excited. I was going to be introduced to this new sport and was going to impress every one on the day. Being a GP (?grand Prix) this was not going be a big deal.

Had a nice morning and after lunch we were asked to get ‘dressed’ for the occasion. Everyone seem to know what they were doing ,so I pretended the same- still ,being the greenie –decided to pick the green dress (extra large ,of course) .Well …should admit was proud to look like Michael Schumacher 2.

Off you go -’Marshal’ said- to DVD class, sat next to Satesh who seemed relaxed (has he done this before?)

After a heavy lunch (I was compensating for the ones who were on a diet , slimming world goers etc) slept through the DVD presentation nodding my head ,just in case others think ,I am not being serious.

Marshall asked us to pair up, still this was going to be ‘some kids sport’ – Satesh agreed to be my partner-of course he should feel privileged as I was going to be the fastest for the day. I was quick to name us –A team (I was not going to settle for anything less)

The other teams were either hot ( ‘chilli power’) ,holy ( Hillingdon angels) or aggressive (Coventry Killers) and so on .I was least worried about them, any way.

We were invited to the track ,I was bursting with enthusiasm. Asked to select an helmet. Never had a motorbike before so was not aware they too came with small, medium, large and even XXL.! – made sense –like different size of bodies there are different size of heads-why not. So ,to keep up with tradition –chose XXL helmet-fitted perfectly (could not hear a thing now) …

There was a test run of the kart – I was shown this Kart –which looked to me like a topless Nissan micra – did not care much –I was ready to rock and roll

Marshall had a problem in starting this funny looking machine ,it also jumped and stopped-I thought –oh well…some people have bumpy start –here I was having a jumpy one –why not,… happens. It was certainly not going to stop my world class performance which was going to start in a minute or two.

I pressed the accelerator and next thing I realised my micro-vehicle was kissing the ramp ,soon I realised there was no reverse gear to apply, so put the hand up asking for help- marshal came and pulled me back and said off you go ,deputy was waving a board at me which read ‘No bumps’ –as if I was doing it purposefully..

The steering wheel was tight –may be they forgot to service it –unsure whether these machines have MOT etc but decided to move forward next thing I found myself at 45 degrees in the middle of the bridge ,and the machine just stopped .-?no petrol, I was not sure. Funny enough it did not roll backwards either. What do I do now, looked for a horn –there wasn’t one-so good old school technique-put the hand up again. Marshall came to me again – each time I was have a crisis they had to put a red or yellow light to stop or slow the traffic .,by this time I was providing entertainment to all of them ,I did not think they did mind.

Marshall -looking almost suicidal - pushed me back and advised (I was lip reading)-you should really accelerate when it comes to bridge- here I go again.

I have always been a cautious driver –I was not going to change the tradition .I was driving safe –no bumps ,no accidents ,steady but at 20mph. Everyone was overtaking me –these fast drivers !!! I did wave to VIPs overtaking me (like madam president)....

Changed over with Satesh ,who drove with ease ,fast (look at him , he never showed he had this hidden talent)- he was fast not furious.

‘A team’ was (obviously) at 8^th place after my ‘performance’ and after 15min of satesh’s driving we came up to 4^th place ,where I went back and promptly brought back to 8^th place…..

Eventually (the consensus was) my performance improved marginally , and we ended up 7^th place ,thank God ,Satesh did not dump me in some sin bin , for consistently harming his performance….!

Oh..well.. Coventry killers –went for the kill- and did some 103 laps and got the first place-walked away with that champagne bottle –I was dreaming to take that home-fair enough- I settled for tap water…

I was elated for leaning a new sport –with some –set backs –of course-then comes the warning from Sagar- ‘Your whole body will ache tomorrow, especially small joints and back, you should take neurofen plus before going to bed’-oh-thank you very much……

It did....!

........................